By NIDA ALI
November 3, 2017
“Based on your understanding of judgment, you can determine the insecurities of the person doing the judging.
Being happy has nothing to do with judgment. If someone is happy with themselves and the way they’ve developed, it doesn’t mean they don’t judge others.
The key here is to define judgment. Does judging others mean looking down at them? Does it constitute as disapproving of something they are doing or acting upon? Based on your understanding of judgment, you can determine the insecurities of the person doing the judging. Or, rather, the motive behind the judgment.
If someone views another as lesser than because of the way they choose to live their life, I won’t assume that they’re unhappy, but I can conclude that they are unhappy with certain aspects of themselves; they are insecure about themselves in many ways. This leads them to reflect their insecurities in their judgment of others.
Now, this can be very nuanced. If you notice that someone tends always to criticize people publicly, poorly describe them and their lifestyle and indulge in presenting a negative image of them to other people, they are most likely insecure about themselves.
They subconsciously want to highlight the flaws of others to make their own flaws look less magnified.
There are times, however, when judgement is necessary and reflects nothing about an individuals personal happiness. Sometimes, you have to INTERNALLY judge people to make decisions for yourself.
Let’s take, for example, judgment in religion. Some people will look at another religious person and publicly judge them. Maybe say, “she does XYZ, what kind of Muslim/Christian/Jew/Hindu/etc. is she?” That is a poor judgment that somebody makes that reflects their discontent with their own religiosity.
There are times, however, when judgement is necessary and reflects nothing about an individuals personal happiness.
Sometimes, you have to INTERNALLY judge people to make decisions for yourself. For instance, you might be looking to make new friends, but you notice a group or a person who gossips a lot, lies a lot or encourages you to smoke. At that point, you need to make an internal judgement: do I want to be around someone who gossips because gossiping is bad, do I want to be around someone who lies because lying is bad, or do I want to be around someone who tries to risk my health and life?
These are all personal internal judgments we all make. These sort of judgments allow us to better ourselves and come to decisions that ultimately define who we want to be as people.
Sound judgments reflect wisdom and the desire to be ultimately happy with the self while rash and harsh judgments reflect a desire to conceal your own judgments of yourself by outlining your judgments of others.
Happiness is contentment with the self, understanding yourself and being in touch with your emotions. And all of that requires many judgments to have been made, but never any judgments that make another look bad.